Meeting Notes
All notes are strictly confidential. Nothing to see here...
- 19:03
- 19:17
- 20:01
- 20:37
Conspiracy-Free Conspiracy Club
[REDACTED] Absolutely nothing to see here.
What We Don’t Do
Features [REDACTED]
The Conspiracy-Free Conspiracy Club: Officially Unofficial, Secretly Unsecretive. All details below are classified and absolutely not suspicious.
- Coordinated Activities
- Secret Handshakes
- Encrypted Snacks
- Shadowy Agendas
- Invisible Meetings
- Classified Information
[ FULL LIST REDACTED ]
Frequently Asked Questions
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[REDACTED]
The purpose is to have a purpose, but the true purpose remains purposefully unpurposed. Further clarification is unavailable at this time.
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[CLASSIFIED]
To join, simply do what all members have done before you. Or after you. The process is as invisible as our invisible ink. If you know, you know—unless you don't.
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[UNCONFIRMED]
Some say there is, others deny it. If there were a handshake, you might already be doing it. Or perhaps not. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.
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[OBFUSCATED]
Meetings are rumored to be both eventful and uneventful. If you were there, you’d know; if you weren’t, you probably still wouldn’t know. Attendance is neither mandatory nor optional.
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[PENDING]
Your friend is already one of us. Or will be. Or was. The concept of "friend" is currently under review by the Department of Companionship. Please await further non-answers.
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[WITHHELD]
Membership fees may or may not exist, in theory. If you have to ask, the answer is complicated. Please remit payment in the currency of your choosing (or not).
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[UNKNOWN]
Your question has been received, reviewed, and filed appropriately. A response may be issued retroactively at the discretion of the Unanswerability Committee. Watch this space, or not.
Testimonials
We have worked with thousands of mysterious individuals
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“I learned nothing and that’s everything I needed.”
AnonymousLocation: Classified -
“The absence of evidence was overwhelming.”
Definitely Not a Member— -
“I was told not to write a review. So I didn’t.”
Name RedactedMember #000 -
“This review is under investigation.”
[Unintelligible]Status: ??? -
“The triangle was exactly the wrong shape I expected.”
Obtuse ObserverPreferred Shape: Unknown -
“They said there would be spoons. There weren’t.”
Spoon EnthusiastUtensil Count: Redacted -
“I attended every meeting. Or none. Hard to say.”
Schrödinger’s MemberPresence: Unconfirmed -
“If you can read this, you know too much.”
You Know WhoNo further comment